Wednesday, July 10, 2013

It really shouldn't matter what we are

I had never experienced the presentation of sex while I was in school. Going to a Catholic school my entire life, Sex Ed was not in the cards for me. Although this was my school environment I was lucky enough to have a home environment that was very open and loving. I had “the birds and the bees” talk with my mom when I asked her what sex was and they always taught me that love was love, it did not matter who it was between. I have gay and lesbian friends who I love very much and I recognized some of them in these readings.
            Like in Anderson’s article, a close friend of mine, who I grew up with, struggled with an identity crisis. He had a wicked temper when we were young and it always looked as if he was having an internal debate whenever we did something, even just playing outside. Years later we talked about it and he knew that those years were his toughest. He knew that he was fighting with the fact that he was, “joining to a stigmatized group” and he had no idea what to do about it (Anderson, 2005, p. 4). When we were young I just thought he was being annoying and that he would get out of his funk eventually, I never imagined it was something so important for him. Now I am glad I was able to be there for his experiences and learn from him and what he went through.
            One of my roommates is someone else I have learned a great deal from. She is a lesbian, and as she likes to call herself “boyish.” She is more comfortable with short hair and looser clothing, but that is not who she is. I watch as people give her a questioning look at school or out somewhere, but she does not even give those people the time of day. She has overcome so much adversity in her life that she does not worry about the looks. And there are many people out there that have to deal with this struggle of judgment, not just gays or lesbians, but from being around my friends I see how much it can be a nuisance. Students need to learn about all different types of love, I feel, because if they do not, they will be the ones starring. We cannot change everyone’s mind, but I feel that we owe it to students to make the world a little more caring and a little less judgmental.
            I also really liked a point that Fine and McEllend made, that desire is everywhere (Fine &McEllend, 2006). She mentions different social medias and television channels that plaster adolescent desire as the main focus. Students cannot escape the fact that sex sells and that it is becoming a large part of society. Sadly, they can “’Google’ for information about the average young woman’s age of ‘sexual debut,’ if she used a condom, got pregnant, the number of partners she had, if she aborted or gave birth, and what the baby weighed” (Fine & McEllend, 2006, p. 4).  It is not just Google that is becoming a problem, but young adults these days do not understand the idea of privacy (I know I sound like I’m old, but really!). Girls will post pregnancy photos on social media websites and apps like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Boys will talk about the “girl they smashed” last night. There are no boundaries anymore for adolescents and someday they might wish they never put that out there for everyone to find.

            I just hope that eventually all students will have some understanding and appreciation for all types of people, whether you’re GLBTQ?, black, white, purple, or blue. There needs to be some level of caring between young adults so that they can learn from one another and carry what they learn with them into future experiences.



Anderson, D. (2005). Lesbian and Gay Adolescents: Social and Developmental
Considerations. In E.R. Brown & K.J. Saltman (Eds.). The Critical Middle School Reader. New York: Routledge, 338-344.  

Fine, M. & McClelland, S.I. (2006).  exuality Education and Desire: Still Missing After
All These Years. Harvard Educational Review76(3), 297-338.

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